Dating difference

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None were in wide release, but both Freeheld and Carol had big distribution backing, and Carol, which just got nominated for five Golden Globes, is well en route to mass critical acclaim.

This year, a whole lot of people have watched lesbians of varying age differences fall in love — and some witnesses have been nothing short of scandalized.

According to 2014 data compiled by the Williams Institute, 31% of married same-sex female couples have a 5- to 10-year age difference, compared to 21% of married different-sex couples; for 10-plus years, those numbers are 16% and 8%, respectively. While naysayers insist that relationships like Holland Taylor and Sarah Paulson’s don't make them uncomfortable for an explicitly gay reason, significant age differences between lesbians aren’t actually divorced from their queerness at all — these differences are a nontraditional aspect of coupledom borne from queerness itself.

Women who date significantly up or significantly down radically subvert heteronormative standards for what’s appropriate when it comes to sex and love.

The other day, one of my female friends came to me seeking advice.

She was distraught over the fact that a guy she was interested in had called her "cute." She wanted a male perspective on what this really meant. When she thought of "cute," she pictured a small infant swaddled up like a cocoon.

A cute woman might be too shy to steal everyone's attention at the bar, but she could if she wanted.

At the same time, the cute woman is typically pretty approachable.

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Physically, a cute woman will usually have soft features and a more youthful appearance (but still not be childish). Think about Jennifer Aniston on "Friends." I've always considered her to be cute. For the most part, the sexy woman will know she's sexy. The term “sexy” is pretty straightforward -- it comes from a place of lust.

According to their social media PDA, at least, actors Holland Taylor (age 72) and Sarah Paulson (age 40), are ridiculously, deeply in love.

My colleague Sarah Karlan recently rounded up the sweetest tweets exchanged between the newly public couple.

While many people might think that “cute” is just used as a lesser compliment for people who don't qualify as pretty or beautiful, let me be the first to tell you that's not true. Having said that, “sexy” doesn't just apply to the bedroom or a set of lingerie.

A career-driven, intellectual woman can be equally as sexy as the one with the low-cut shirt at the bar -- as long as she carries herself with the same amount of swagger. The sexy woman might be the one at the bar who you want to take home for the night, but the beautiful one is the one you want to hold down.

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